John, Paul, and Brando

PLAY: John, Paul, and Brando
snippet: “Paul, I’ve asked you not to call me ‘Brandy.'”
time: 1:50; specs: 1.7 MB mp3
cast: Bill Cassel, Christian Crumlish, M. Smith, Cecil Vortex
In April 1976, SNL Producer Lorne Michaels asked the Beatles to reuinite on live TV. Ever since that night, rumors have circulated that John and Paul were watching the show together and seriously considered taking Michaels up on his outrageous offer.
Now, with Marlon Brando’s recent passing, a remarkable, albeit badly battered cassette tape has surfaced, proving once and for all that these rumors were nothing less than fact. For not only were John and Paul together that night, but Brando was there with them, playing a crucial role in their historic non-decision, all while recording every last word.
Absurd? Absolutely. But true nonetheless. And the proof is in the listening!
PLAY: John, Paul, and Brando
Odder still is a recording found on the tape’s flip side. The cassette label, apparently written by Brando himself, is almost entirely unintelligible. Quite frankly, our MVRT scientists are stumped. They can’t explain it. They can barely understand it. But best they can determine, it appears to be a Shroud-of-Turin-esque empathic magnetic pulse projected by Brando’s massive dome onto the tape, reflecting the sounds in that room as he actually experienced them. Neat, hunh?
Brando notes that he’d snacked on a suspect slab of cheese on the ride over to John’s. Might there be a connection between this cheese and the disturbed state of Brando’s mind that fateful night? You be the judge. Enjoy, -CV.
PLAY: John, Paul, and Brando, “Tangy Brie” Remix

4 comments on “John, Paul, and Brando

  1. The truly amazing thing about this piece is that it was written and recorded without the use of controlled substances. I would never believe it if I hadn’t been there.

  2. Maybe you were sober for the writing and recording. Maybe I’ll buy that. But Side B?!? C’mon. The mixing room must have stunk like a greenhouse.

  3. The lost Brando tape

    …and it was true! he was a tiny little man…

  4. what a pisser. it’s like these twisters were eating bangers and mash while playing with their knackers and meat and two veg.
    love the ‘swap out the o’.
    oh, a copy of the lorne michaels’ check to the beatles, and the text of his offer, which is a riot (penciled in: “if you want to give ringo less, it’s up to you.”
    “If there’s anything unsettling to the stomach, it’s watching actors on television talk about their personal lives.”
    —Marlon Brando

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